IHT: Mr. Klaus, before we start talking about the climate summit that has just finished…
VK: Please address me as Mr. President.
I am still the President.
IHT: But isn’t it true that your people are turning on you because of your refusal to comply with the decisions of the Copenhagen Climate Summit?
VK: My people will see the light. I have already explained to them that we are a landlocked country, so even if these so-called “oceans” supposedly do “rise,” due to so-called “global warming,” we will not be harmed. In fact, some of our neighbors and historic enemies will be flooded, and we may end up with some very nice beachfront property. So what are they worried about?
IHT: You are known as perhaps the last head of state skeptical about climate change, now that George Bush has left office. But one hundred Nobel Laureates have stated that climate change is a clear and present danger caused by human activity. Do you really believe that Nobel Prize winning scientists are involved in a conspiracy to convince the world about global warming?
VK: Nobel Prize, Shnobel Prize. My dear friend George Bush knew what to do with these so-called “scientific findings.” That’s what the DELETE key on your keyboard is for.
IHT: The climate change summit has just finished. What are your thoughts on the outcomes and their impact on global warming?
VK: Alleged global warming, alleged! And please, do not demonize carbon dioxide. It is a very useful gas. Plants need it, we exhale it and it is also found in soda water. You’re not one of these Americans who stigmatizes seltzer, are you?
IHT: What about those South Pacific islands and their inhabitants that are under an imminent threat due to the rise of ocean level?
VK: What islands?
IHT: I mean Tuvalu, Carterets, Marshall and Maldives where people are threatened by rising water levels caused by climate change. What options do you think they have?
VK: Let’s use logic: since there is no climate change, the waters are not rising, and no islands will be submerged. Even if the waters are rising for some other reason, these inhabitants have the freedom to move wherever they want.
IHT: But some countries have already indicated they would refuse to accept these islanders as climate refugees.
VK: This does not reduce these people’s freedom to make another choice. Treading water is very good for your cardiovascular system.
Photo credit: /EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT / PIETRO NAJ-OLEARI
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